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That's what I'l like when people cry in front of me. I shut up. There's nothing I know to say. I feel like "it's gonna be okay" isn't gonna help. Their fears are stronger than that. I need something more potent.

My natural reaction is to hug the person. There's so much to it; there's so much to even just a little bit of physical contact. I feel like I'm cheating, [hopefully] helping people feel better without so much as a thought or bit of comforting word. Me, I don't like it. I feel useless. Yet there's those people I know who can comfort even Cloud-after-Aeris. J-E-A-L-O-U-S. Share a little wisdom?

To the people I've let down, I'm sorry.

The spectrum's A to Z!

Oh boy, here we go. Midterms are approaching fast. In fact, I have one in a few days. Calculus. I'm not all that worried, since I've done everything before. I'm worrying a bit about the limits, since I've never gone into that much detail about limits before. But that's about it. I'm scared that I'm being cocky. I'm studying anyway... Except for now. Break time, yes?

I'm finally starting to get used to everything in uni. But the thing is, there's always a twist here and there. It's never the same thing. Best part is, I get to choose my twists and turns. I like. Unfortunately this doesn't really help get rid of my procrastination, but I have to admit I'm getting a bit better.
On the other hand, I'm meeting more and more people, and I get to pick who I want to hang out more or not. It's not that I was limited to that before, but it really is different. It's great. I gotta admit, though, I don't really see much of my old friends. As an effort to extend my group of friends, I'm gonna go attend Halloween pub next week. Great way to celebrate end of midterms. Even though I can't drink.

I just have to get through this week. Err, Monday. Chem midterm there. Lame, I know. But I found that the only way to get through it is to START. The most painful step, but the most useful one. Especially for me, I can't put something down until I'm satisfied with it. It also help to have a little inspiration on the side.

Random thoughts have led me to something else. People don't really need all those sayings and quotes; they're all obvious. People just need to think. I don't think we need a million ways for others to tell us what selfishness, greed, or laziness will do. Think, people, think. And START.

I just noticed, I seem to blog everytime I'm busy. When I'm not, I'm off doing something else. Weird.

Chilly

This morning I woke up with a jolt. Vibrations were sent up my spine. I slept on my cellphone. I quickly understood what had probably gone on last night. Ah well. To business.
My phone said, obnoxiously, JEAN GUTIERREZ.
I remember thinking, "Why the hell is she calling me on a school day? This sucks, my alarm's going to go off soon, too. Lost a few minutes of sleep..."
This is what I remember, and what Jean told me I said at work:

"Hello?"
"Glenn! Jen told me to call you."
"What? Why?!"
"You're scheduled today! 7-3."
"Uhhhhhhhhh... OH OKAY thanks... bye."

Let "OH OKAY" represent the point of realisation, and the ellipses moments of fast brain processing. Well, relatively fast for a cold morning. I completely thought it was Friday. I don't know why. I slept in for work again... Oh well, I haven't done that in a while.

I just thought this was weird... I mean, I knew the night before that today was Saturday and that I would need to get up for work. I even told myself to set my alarm accordingly (which, I obviously failed to do). Maybe 'cause I didn't want Friday to end. Weather unpermitting, I ended up staying home. On a Friday. Stuff was left undone for this week. That means I have to do a lot this weekend. 2 labs, 2 assignments, 3 DESIGN assignments too, oh my.

Plus, this week, I absolutely have to watch Toy Story 3D with MJ. I've been giddy since I heard about it!

Being busy gives me a sense of purpose...

Plans, plans, plans.

Always make me budget my money just a bit more. That's good right? If only it didn't involve spending money to execute said plans... But everything is definitely going to be worth it.

The only way to take away the stress from tasks is to enjoy it. And to dedicate it to someone.

I have terrible luck, though. Plans never go the way I imagine the to go. I think that makes me think a lot harder the next time I plan for it. Don't get me wrong, sometimes winging it is as much fun as it sounds.

Reminder!

To myself and all the other guys out there:

A girl may have said yes to you, but she never said stop trying.

Priorities.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Feel the rage and frustration of a boy feeling helpless as he fights the tide which carries him further and further away from his Azure.
Like the difficulty of an unbeatable boss battle.
Like an unsolvable math problem.
Like a long introduction to the hook.
Like knowing you'll never be the best at the things that you do when your competitive side is telling you to keep going.
Such is my busy life. I thank God for the time I have to reflect alone. Pah, who needs sleep?

But hey, tomorrow's the graduation ceremony. I know my teenager mind is running amok: I'm not really interested in the ceremony, I'd rather enjoy my summer. Hopefully I'll be able to stay at Justin's place tomorrow night. I haven't been able to in a while. Insert more rage here.

IF THERE'S ONE THING I CAN'T STAND, IT'S MISSING OUT ON STUFF.

That's all I got for now. I know it's been a while and much has happened but my mind's tunnel vision is at a bottle neck at the moment. Tough!

Pass that dutch.

This past weekend was the first ever Regional Youth Conference.
Spirits blazing, I went in there excited to play some volleyball. It's what I really wanted to do there. Of course, I signed up for football and soccer too. Basketball, well, just isn't my thing. Football was a bust. With Alan (the captain) busy with band competition, football never had a chance. Oh well. Soccer, on the other hand, went well. Actually, more than great. We got first place, yeah! Volleyball happened later on in the day. We got our asses kicked. Hard. Such is life.
It was a while since my last worship. Most songs came back to memory, while some were taught to me by the projector screen. Either way, it felt great.
Results came! It's a good thing Alan chose band over football, they won first place for band! Congratulations. Aaaaand with a sudden, ugly, turn of events, the award for soccer read "West Two" instead of "West One". I came home empty handed.
Running all over the place trying to get everywhere, trying to find people, trying to watch things I wanted to really tired me out. Close enough to say that I didn't enjoy myself. I'm choosing not to say that so that I won't feel like my money's been wasted. Tryiiiiiiiiiiiing!

Anyway, I've been home with nothing to do. Bumming around is not fun at all.

Not the best timing.

...but then again, is there ever good timing for being sick?

I've been sick since Monday, I spent the whole day with a throbbing head. I couldn't shake my head. But I had to shake it off 'cause I volunteered to help out at Sally's apartment. I hope I really helped, I feel really bad for breaking TWO of her dad's drill bits. Guiltguiltguilt. Troublesome boy is troublesome. As soon as I got home I ended up sleeping a good 6 hours, from 4:30 to 10:30. Well I think part of it is the fact that I stayed up so late the night before. At least that eased my headache a little. To all that I talked to that day, I apologize for being way out of it.

Today, I felt much better compared to yesterday. I did manage to sleep another 5 hours. I hope I'm feeling a whole lot better tomorrow, I have to go to work! I can't skip out again, I've been doing that too often the past couple of weeks. Unfortunately, I have work again on Thursday. All 'cause I booked off this weekend because it's RYC, yeyeahhh!

But that's all I got for now. My creative juices aren't flowing [unless that's the stuff coming out of my nose]. Plus I'm damn sleepy.
I like sleep. A lot.

Broken plans.

Saturday was great. Watching Up was definitely a nice treat. I'm not much of a movie-goer, y'know? I wish it was more convenient to be somewhere else, though. Not being able to watch it in 3D disappointed me. I'm thankful I was able to watch it, especially since I have to squeeze it in all the things I have to do. Why am I so busy for? Demetre was awesome too! [I dunno why but it didn't have the 's on the sign] The food was really sweet and pretty damn filling. I wish I came hungry. MJ and I vowed to share the food the next time we go.
I wasn't able to go to Dean's bonfire after. After considering the trouble I had to go through to get a ride home, I thought it wouldn't be worth it. I didn't know he was thinking of giving me a ride home. Another disappointment. Should have called, that would have made sense. I feel terrible for it. Another "next time". Times like these would be a whole lot easier with a car.
I wish.

Unfortunately, the night was short.
Next time.

Dance, dance!

Once again, exams are done. I have to go back to my old duties before they started: work, so I can get my money back; chores, but I don't really do much at home anyway; and one of the most painful ones, DANCE.

After a month of absence from that cotillion, everyone's pretty much forgotten the steps. Turns out, that's okay. We keep learning a new dance every time. The basic steps are the same, but the timing, the turns, the flow of it changes every time we go to practice. I'm glad the Rumba-Chachacha mix dance stayed the same. Orrrr we just don't remember it at all. And what makes things worse, we're way behind on time and the choreographer was real strict-like today, y'see. This is becoming a big hassle than a small sacrifice. But I don't like backing out.

Nadine, you're a great person, this one's for you.