Prologue

The sun is high in the sky. Flowers and weeds alike are scattered around, yielding to the ancient trees' roots. All are singing their silent hymns to their god. The sun's bright rays gently land on a boy's fair skin, and beads of sweat run down his body. He observes his surroundings they remind him of treks with his mare. Peace surrounds him; the animals are calm, and no wind dances with the plants. The wild grass is still, but not at the boy's feet.

He continues racing through the forest, the sun now imaginary through the trees' boughs. Every branch, twig, and leaf denies the boy his glory. But this does not concern him. He runs, runs, runs. His speed magnifies each breath of wind. Locks of flame-like hair dance with the wind, fast as a swallow but still a graceful swan. The last of the morning's dew fall from the lowest branches on to his unwashed face; the trees mourn the boy's loss of light. But this does not concern him. The boy does not look back. His head only looks forward, without an expression on his face. His body only moves forward. He has always been unbelievably enduring for his slender build, and just as fast. Once again, he remembers his horse.

It begins to rain. But this does not concern him.

FFFFFrustration

It all started in my first match at the Hagersville meet last Friday. I was supposed to face Soranno for my first match, so either way it's a win for Xavier. Some other coach decided to switch it up. I was up first. I faced the guy from the other school, with the usual difficulty of having to face tall people. Halfway through the first round Lanky-boy catches me by surprise and gets a nice grip on me; he proceeds to take me down. We fall on my shoulder. Hard. The shock of it all left me breathless on the mat, sitting up with my left shoulder numb. I tried moving it, but it wouldn't. Maybe it would wear off, I thought to myself. I got up; I wrestled on. I couldn't move my left arm at all without pain shooting through my shoulder [I had a chance to take him down, too]. I fought as hard as I could, but the pin was bound to come.

This is where the whole feeling of frustration comes. After the match, I went to go see a trainer about my shoulder. There were absolutely no signs pointing to them, noone from the school knew were to point me to. After finding the trainer, she gave me ice. That was it. n my head, I said "Got nothing to say to me?!" Frustration point number 1.

After sitting around hoping for it to start feeling better, it started to sink in; I wouldn't be wrestling anymore that day. I hate sitting around doing nothing. I do not like staying still. I was waiting so long for this meet, one that took up more than half of my day. Frustration gains another.

And now the school week has come. didn't want it to come, I'm just not ready for it. Although the idea of the Group 4 project excited me, my injury worried me very much. Today I learned just how useless I am right now. I know I could be farther along this project if it weren't for my shoulder. Frustration has given me strike three.

Apparently shoulder injuries take forever to heal. I've yet to see a doctor, I should go do that soon. My temporary sling hurts my neck [and my head]. If my mom sees me like this, I would have bought my wrestling shoes for nothing.

Control yourself!

I'm working on my new layout for this thing; I've made about 3 rough copies now. I can't seem to get something I like. But anyway,

After that long weekend, more normal boring schooldays are here. The kind that make you lazier because they've become so routine. With my mom gone for the Philippines until the first week of December, there's very minimum amount of control in my house. I guess this is a test for me. I gotta stop watching too much shows on the internet [I'm watching 8 different ones]; I gotta stop eating so much, [wrestling season is here], and I need to get my ass off this computer. And the cold is NOT helping.

I end up thinking about things I shouldn't be.


I'm gonna go do some homework before Heroes. [villainsssssssssssssssss]

Jubhugular.

Obviously, this post's about the other coolest person on the planet. I couldn't even decide on the title 'cause he has 9000+ nicknames.

'Kay so, Justin can be called my twin, my brother from another mother, maybe even my Jubby-Hubby. After being stuck together since the beginning of grade 11, we've done nothing other than that; stuck together. Some thing just clicked, I guess. I gotta say, though, I'm pretty jealous of Jubnub. He's got the money, the looks [you wish, buddy], talent, everything. I honestly can't think of any big things that bother me about Justin. Except for the sighing. It's actually infectious. I [hope I] wouldn't ever fight with Jubhug, anyway.

Serious when he needs to be, jolly when he can; I can assure you that being with Justin is worthwhile. Geez, he's always the driver [I'm navigator, thank you very much], and he doesn't seem to mind. We make the same jokes, say the same things, do the same things [only sometimes, we don't have our brains glued together...]. I'm usually competitive, but I don't mind Jubtits usually being the best. He puts a lot of effort into what he does, so he deserves it. He won't admit it, but he's a pretty dedicated person. And I bet, when he read that, he's still thinking "I'm one of the least dedicated people," or something like that. Take some credit, dude.

I'm all over the place here. Moving on.

Damn, I can't find a song that would suit Jublin. Nothing seems to hit it bang on...
Okay here we go. If Justin was a song / if I had a song for Justin, it would be Younglife by Anberlin. Lyric-wise, the song opens with "Hey brother, do you remember when?" and I think if I were to talk Justin years from now, I'd be able to say this line. Then the lyrics go on, and repeats the line "I wanna do it again." I know that these days with Justin are some of the best days ever [and you guys too, but this is about Juice-stain] and I would definitely want to do it again. On the other hand, this song can be like Justin too in the sense that it's hella catchy. I think that Justin is someone who is easily likable by anyone. It's just hard to not like the guy. The song is calm, but it still has a feeling of happiness [happy background vox!]. And when you get right down to the middle [not that I fully know Justin], you'll love it.

Another friend I don't plan on losing. We haven't gotten sick of each other [yet, rofl].

Besides, I like his house. [lololol]

You're the best, [aroo-uund~] Jew Stan.

Burn Out Brighter

I think it's time to appreciate some music; this time it's: Burn Out Brighter by Anberlin.

Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something
Facing towards the heavens
I fell into a pitch black
I'm moments from landing and I'm shaking like a heart attack
Is there time, can I turn back
I've made mistakes in the past
Need a chance, can't say goodbye
Wish I could set things right tonight
Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life's not about me
All I know spins out of control
Wonder what's next for a hardened soul
Nothing I earned can save me now
Here in what may be my final hour
Is there time, can I turn back
I've made mistakes, well, in the past
Need a chance, can't say goodbye
Wish I could set things right tonight
Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life's not about me
Don't wanna leave this world knowing I breathed in vain
Looked out for myself, so sorry, so ashamed
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried
To chase down all my dreams that I hid away on the inside
Live, I wanna live on fire
Die, I wanna burn out brighter
Brighter than the Northern lights
Wanna live to feel the daylight
The more I live I see this life's not about me

This song is from Anberlin's newest album, New Surrender. Pretty good song, but the thing I love about this song are the lyrics.

In a nutshell, the song is about living life. Living life the way that we should: giving 100% not just to ourselves, but to others. The opening lines "Live; I wanna live inspired. Die; I want to die for something." says how I wanna live my life.

Live inspired.
I'd say this is the harder part. Many people spend their whole lives for something that inspires them; something that fuels them. Inspiration is the one thing that lets you wake up and think to yourself, "Today's a great day, let's make the best of it". it's the one thing that gives you something to look forward to each day when you wake up.

People don't know it, but they have plenty of blessings to inspire them.

Die for something.
The allure that brought soldiers to war: returning with great honor, or sacrificing yourself for your country. I know that I wanna die for something, maybe something cool like pushing someone out of the way of a moving car [but who am I kidding, most people just freeze with fright]... But I hope that as I get older, I can find something that I can dedicate myself to. That's how I view "dying for something" as. To live dedicated to one thing that when I go, it'll be one thing that will be connected to me. As if my life has been offered for that one thing. I don't know if you get it, but it makes sense to me[heh].

We'll go with living inspired for now.

Wanna be cool?

Didn't make it into Café Night. I totally said I wouldn't be mad, but I know I am. Not super mad though. It was fun enough. I'll be a spectator this time.

Anyway, here's my plan for some blog entries. Back in my myspace days I had a section about the cool people in my life. I wrote down what I honestly thought about them, then I gave them a song that I think matches them [either by mood or lyrics]. This was brought back 'cause of Gwen's little journal thing [I wish I got to read all of the ones about me]. I figured that I'd probably know a lot more about you guys after a couple years.

I do know that my first person will be Justin. He is my brother and he is at the top of my cool people list. I'll save my thoughts until the actual post.

Comment if you want one?

All the world's a stage.

Dammit Justin, I have to keep up.

For the past 3-4 years of high school I've been performing in Café Nights and Rockstocks. I can honestly say that I still get butterflies and goosebumps and act like a pussy [I LIEK ANIMALZ] every time I perform or even audition. So why do I do it? I'll be honest, I like to show off what I can do. I'm not as good as some people I know, but I'm proud of what I can do. Besides, the satisfaction I feel when it's all over makes it worthwhile. Not too shabby for a shy guy, huh.

But here's why I'm writing this: I don't think I could have done all this alone.

To all the people I've ever performed with:
You guys [and a couple girls] inspire me. Your overall awesomeness just pushes me to go for better. You guys make performing / playing fun, especially since I tend to be too serious when it comes down to it. This year's just begun, we've got plenty of time to kick ass.

To those who're always watching us:
Is there really a point of performing if nobody's going to watch? You guys put up with our stressing, our practicing, and all the other crappy boring acts [218764455 different indian dance acts, lol] just to watch us. You guys give up your time to come and support us when we need it the most. Although we end up becoming even more nervous when you scream our names, your energy fuels us to go with it. Every time I play, I dedicate it to all of you.

Aftermath

So Thanksgiving dinner wasn't all that bad! We actually ended up eating together and noone really annoyed me. After that, me and my dad decided to play a round of checkers and we ended up having fun!I won't bother trying to explain why, it's one of those things you had to be there for...
But anyway, that was great. I guess you never really need fancy super special awesome family outings to have a good time. Totally not that jealous now.

Peace! [Literally]

Rock it some more!

So, I'm gonna learn Dueling Guitars from the movie August Rush with Jason! I'll probably be doing the annoying part [the one with all the tapping and shit] and Jason will do Johnathan Rhys Meyers' part. In terms of figuring out the song, I'm halfway there. I just need to figure out a couple more bits to it -- the harder parts, unfortunately. But it's the badass part for my part. Yeeeee!

Sleep, work, and everything in between.

Man, I never do shit for holidays. My family's not much to care. Thanksgiving doesn't mean much to us as a whole. I've always been jealous of how others celebrate things with their family. My family doesn't; it's gotten to the point where we don't even know how to, and any attempts aren't veryy fulfilling.

So, it's probably best to take some time to think about what I got [TOTALLY NON CLICHÉ, RIGHT]. I'm pretty happy we're a "complete" set of a family. That's something that's becoming a little less common these days. I'm glad noone decided to bail out when things went to hell [many, many times]. Same goes for my other relatives. It saddens me that the one's I'm close to are far away. I got some nearby, but we're not the closest [reciprocally]. But I know they aren't just substitutes. The -- dare I say it -- love they have for us is just as real as the ones we're close to. I'm absolutely thankful for that.
It's one of those "it could be worse" situations. But hey, it could be worse.

One thing I gotta say that I'm really thankful for are my friends [OH MY GOD TOTALLY ORIGINAL HERE, AREN'T WE]. If you know my personality,you'd be pretty surprised how I managed to make such good friends. Try this: just think about your closest friends right now and remember how you got to know them. I gotta admit, I don't remember everything. But whatever happened, thank God. He knows how hard of a person I am to be close with [touching a lot of iffy areas here for me].

Another thing! I'm pretty happy about all my abilities. I can create my own music, design my own art, play what I wanna play. I'm never the best, I admit, but it makes me try a little hard harder to improve. The jack-of-all-trades' never had a limit to the level of his abilities!

So there's a lot I wish I had. Stuff that I could wish I could be thankful for. I'll work for them, then. [Here's to another resolution half fulfilled?] And here's my challenge for this post: besides trying to keep the things that you're thankful for, work for the ones you wish you had. You'll feel like the happiest person alive.

Oops, too long. Good thing I'm gonna have some wine to go with this cheese.

Time.

Hopefully you were redirected from my facebook note, so you've read the poem. This is all pretty much about the most powerful force we know. It's unstoppable. It's irreversible. We can't control it. Who cares if it is relative, absolute, or universal? All we can do is count it, like counting the stars in the sky.
"Time, where did you go? Why did you leave me here all alone?
Wait, don't go so fast. I'm missing the moments as they pass."

I read that bit somewhere around a couple days ago. Beautiful words. Everyone's had a moment like this at some point(s) in their lives. It's unlikely someone has never wasted a single moment of their life, even if this appliesmore for some than others.I'm missing the moments as they pass, you think; it may be the reason you begin to do what's right.Carpe diem.
That thought right there, centered and quoted. Why did I need someone else's words to express what I already knew? To express what I was feeling? The reason I have to write this is because I don't want others to realize the mistake that I've been making when it's too late. It's late for me, but I can still change. Hell, I know I sound like I can change just like that but I know that it will take a while. It's my biggest flaw, after all.
Think about it: time plays such a big role in our lives. Each day ends not because we've accomplished what we want to, but because we've run out of time. Time does not adapt to our needs and wants, we are forced to obey it. We don't have eternity to do each thing we do. Time limits everything. The light of day is not forever. The beauty of night is not forever. Time limits our thinking, words, actions, plans, our lives.
I think that if everyone who knows that their end is near will have this as the one thing that they want the young to know. They, the ones who are unable to do all that they didn't, regret it. The old are wise because of time. Time is the greatest teacher, after all. I hope that we don't learn that the long way.

Born to be slaves of time, should we justpass throughlife? Just take the least painful yet least fruitful way out? People who think this way disgust me. You were given something to make use of it. I disgust myself. So, I'll change. I'll abuse every little moment I have and squeeze everything I can from them. I don't know how, I don't know everything. I'll know it when given the chance. I don't want to go through life saying, "I wish I had done that." I admit right now, I won't be able to do everything, but I'll take every step I can. Don't die full of regrets.